Bathing Thoughts

As it is summer, one has to have a swimsuit for the beach. Since I live in Florida, this isn't just a two-week vacation requirement, it is a year round requirement as we can walk on the beach at any moment, given a 5-minute lead time to get there.

Talk to any woman about bathing suit shopping and you will hear one horror story after another. First there is the abysmal fact that most designers only design for women who wear up to a size 12. Any larger than that and you are relegated to what I refer to as the Italian widow's weeds' bathing suits (black being the only available color) or the bathing suits by Helena of Minnesota who never saw a swimsuit without sleeves that she didn't like. Or there are those designers who seem to think that even though you are a size 14 or 16 or whatever, you might still want a thong, with a gold circle that is silver dollar sized to connect the top to the bottom and let the rest hang out. We're a bit larger, we haven't lost our friggin' minds!

So I've been trying on suits and bemoaning the fact that once you get above size 12, most everything is black: unrelieved black. Boring black. I was bringing anything back to the dressing room that had a bit of color just to have a bit of color (but not that thong thing, I do have a brain!). Anyhoo, I decided, the only view to be worried about is the front view. Forget about the side and back view. There isn't anything you can do about it now. Summer is here. You're buying the suit. Just don't look back there. If it looks great in the front. Go with it.

So with that said, I marched forth again with a new plan. Look only at the front. Look for color. Shop at TJ Maxx. Success! A two-piece tankini! Bright red, halter top, with a flirty, ruffled, short skirt. Looks really good from the front and not so bad from the the other directions (ok, I peeked). And I don't look like a 70-year old Italian crone. No child will run screaming at the sight of me.

All I have to say is I love Ralph Lauren. He is my new favorite designer. If I ever meet him, I will not kiss him. That would embarrass him. But I will tell him he made me one very happy woman. One very, very happy woman.